CHAPTER ONE

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    Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would experience being a passenger on a giant cruise ship, forced to head for Italy during the worst of the world-wide Covid-19 virus outbreak!

    In my heart I knew that our forty-eight-day Round-the-World Tour seemed predestined to be a failure! I suspected that the tour, commencing 20th February 2020 through a Bryon Bay travel agent, was a no-go trip. I had asked both my travel agent and my companion to cancel the trip. The reply was an absolute refusal to cancel, saying the coronavirus, which was restricted to China at that time, would not affect the tour. At that time there were very few cases known globally. I was told that, at that late time, there would be simply no refund! No one wanted this bleak prospect! Any amount of money during your retirement years is precious, certainly not to be thrown away unnecessarily.

   My gut feeling told me I was making an inappropriate decision. There was a profound mental consideration to say no, and yet my heart was in conflict, saying go! I purposefully packed forty-eight medical masks, just in case, along with a well-equipped medical kit.

    We had hopeful plans to meet with family members in Switzerland; there were always good intentions. My youngest daughter looked forward to seeing me, and I yearned to see her, her husband, and my granddaughter in Basel.

    On the day of departure, I sat waiting for my traveling companion and the chauffeur, in the foyer of my building. I thought of the devastating bushfire crisis over Australia during the earlier months, and how I had lived through it. Having COPD lung disease, I was aware that I needed to look after myself. COPD is one of the most serious and dangerous respiratory illnesses. Anyone with this disease should live in a clean environment. If you are struggling with shortness of breath, fatigue and rapid breathing and confusion due to carbon dioxide in your bloodstream, you need to seek further medical assistance.

    I had purchased an air-purifier to clear the air in my residence. All doors and windows had to remain closed due to the toxic air surrounding most of Australia whilst the bush fires burnt out of control. Masks made little difference to saving my lungs as I walked outside. No one left their homes unnecessarily. The air purifier had worked and assisted me to a certain degree. I was certainly pleased I had invested in modern technology.

    On two occasions I had left to attend my volunteer positions, only to find I almost suffocated whilst walking up the hill to the bus stop, where an air-conditioned bus would take me to the city. Yes, fresh air, and it was a relief when I sat on the bus with others; we all had that same look! SHOCK! I had decided it was better for me to attend my shift than to stay at home. This was because my house was so toxic, even with the purifier, I needed to escape the deadly environment of my own home. Travelling to my Art Gallery of NSW (AGNSW) volunteer position was worth it, there was fresh air-conditioning and spaces to walk. Being involved in my work took the main tragedy of the fire crisis out of my mind. Concentrating on other people, and helping them, made a difference.

    People were driving to shopping centres for the air, and staying the day! Life was like the old film “Blade Runner!”

    By late February we had recovered somewhat from the fire crisis. Australia distinctly showed the world that environmental changes were happening. Increasingly, fires were lit by lightning. Australians had spent the last five to six months in utter shock. Never had such an ordeal presented itself on such an enormous scale.

   I wondered whether my lungs had been damaged during this period. When you are a Christian you can lean on God. I believe the closer you are to God the safer you are from the onslaught.

    Growing up as a young country girl, I had known and witnessed the procedure of hazard-reduction-burning in spring-time. When this had not occurred or properly supervised, every year there had been fire issues. I blamed our establishment for the outrageous crisis conditions which did not have to occur. There are environmentalists within Australia who say that we should let nature run its course. The payback has resulted in devastation! Australia wake up! Perhaps we should let the Indigenous people intervene on our behalf to rectify this. It requires a deep understanding of the land, and climate change seems to have reduced the time available for it.

    The aftermath of the fires had caused health consequences. Pregnant women, people with lung and asthma conditions, the elderly would no doubt be disadvantaged. There had already been a historic drought. Thousands of koalas, kangaroos and wallabies had died, crops were lost and cattle and sheep had died from starvation. We had lost lives, property and again our precious koalas, native flowers and trees. My prayers were for my nation, as the NSW draught cost amounted to AUD400 million and the nation-wide costs exceeded AUD700 million. The Australian bushfire cost amounted to AUD2.4 billion.

    What a waste! Human lives lost! Environmental damage! The list goes on!

  Australia then was overcome by floods, which ripped apart sections of our states and territories, leaving thousands of people in the country shattered and homeless.

  I thought of my emotional expressionist-style paintings. Expressionism as an artistic movement developed in the early 20th century, a period in which new and influential explorations of psychology and human behaviour were taking place. Artists began to look at the world much more subjectively, often distorting its depictions to achieve an emotional effect. I am a lover of this style of art.

    For art creators like myself, personal experiences and feelings become more important than physical reality, and the art inspired by expressionism still holds a power to move and challenge. In the last couple of months, I had created canvases of simple stripes reflecting the chaotic fires and our earth, using burnt oranges, reds for the fires and destruction, greens for nature, blues for the skies and the cleansing ocean, and yellow for the sun. I thought about the colours black and grey, but they seemed too horrendous, over-stating what already was. The paintings signified the environmental disasters which occurred within Australia. I had used one media, acrylic paint, over a wash of pastel colours with dark lines of defence, which I knew would show through the natural landscape of the work. I had enjoyed being experimental whilst developing a vision.

    These paintings hang in my Sydney residence to remind me of this catastrophic time.

  In the meantime, the Covid-19 virus might turn into a horrific global pandemic. Was Revelation from the New Testament in the Bible coming true? This part of the Bible makes you ponder, particularly in these times, to think on your life’s many roles. The good news I found in Revelation Chapter 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

    Historically, big events like this cause shifts in society’s values. People who learned to adapt their routines to the uncertainty, and those with a realistic outlook, would cope better than those with an excessive hope that life would soon return to normal. People who expected life to return back to normal within a short period would struggle because they would not be adapting. This was my view. Whilst I waited in the foyer, my neighbours from the penthouse alighted from the lift and another owner came from another direction. All stopped to ask if I was well. I said yes. They all said I looked white, and should I really be traveling. I knew I was well, but the agitation caused by the up-coming trip was haunting me. My answer was I do not want to travel, but my gut says I have to, for some reason! I shrugged my shoulders!

  My brain said NO! My heart was beating YES! I told them that my daughter and granddaughter were looking forward to seeing me in Basel. Family members of my companion in Israel were on the visiting list in Tel Aviv. To me this was important. In my head, there must have been a deep-seated commitment as to why I must be on this tour. I think if this heart commitment had not been so strong, I would still have cancelled.

    I was picked up by the same chauffeur who had taken my companion and me to the airport for years.

   My companion appeared different, awkward as he opened the building door to walk me to the car and to place my suitcase in the boot. The chauffeur acknowledged me with a smile and made light conversation. He looked unmistakably worried and seemed to be on the same concerned page as me. What was going on?

    I thought, what has happened to my companion in the last twenty-four hours? His negative ways and attitude, mannerisms and eye contact were inappropriate. He was not the man I thought I knew! Was he concerned about his business? He had mentioned catching up with a Chinese lady and being busy. I had left the problem there! How could he do this when we knew the Covid-19 virus had come from there! This lady was known for bringing in her family members in a questionable manner. I dreaded health issues!

    Stunned, I felt like putting on a mask from my bag instantly. Perhaps I should have had my mask on anyway, due to the still present toxic air flows.

    We drove to Kingsford Smith Airport. I said little, whilst the two men talked. We said our farewells together. Surprisingly, the chauffeur took me aside and gave me a French-style good-bye hug, indicating please take care, be safe. He said, “Make sure your companion looks after you. Remember you are a wonderful and deserving woman!” He told my companion to take good care of me! We walked inside the Terminal building, and stood in line in silence.

    We flew separately, both of us requiring window seats. I am accustomed to Business Class and he is to Economy. There was no half-way solution to resolve our life-style differences, and the travel agent was not assisting. Hence, we flew Economy and for privacy the solution was a window seat for both parties.

    I had to question myself about the rightfulness of this situation!

   I needed to ask my companion why he was acting more than usually like a badly-behaved child. Did he feel jealous for some unknown reason? I felt that if I opened my mouth I would be unjustly put down and made to regret it, so I kept quiet and calm. Where was he in his unpredictable head-space? Hot and cold outbursts! He snapped at me for no reason, or no reason I could understand. Then he would reverse it into kindness and even have short eye-contact with me. Where did I stand? We were here to have fun and to enjoy! He was the one who wanted to do this trip so badly, why should he now be so ghastly to me, the one he asked to accompany him on this trip? None of this made relationship sense to me.

   Was this the other side of him, like my two-sided first husband? Was this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Had I missed these indicators years ago? His well-disguised behaviour now out, my old feelings of loneliness and abandonment surfaced again. I knew what was ahead of me, pure hardship! Earlier, the signs had not been completely there, they had unexpectedly erupted.

   I feel jealousy is the curse of all relationships; positiveness, care and hope the provider of calm. There was nothing for him to be jealous about! Honesty is the best policy and I have no hidden secrets.

    The flight from Sydney to Singapore was uneventful and I arrived in the calm!

    However, we arrived there like strangers!

    In Singapore, there were temperature monitors and security. All seemed to be in place and the environment felt safe, but slightly uneasy. No alarm bells rang for me. However, I was mindful of a possible upcoming trip full of disasters, my gut feelings running like a marathon race already! My consciousness was overwhelmed. I felt like a stunned mullet!

    We then flew on to Delhi, again in separate window seats well away from each other. This was peace; I did my own thing and at the time I felt fine with this.

   In the evening at the Delhi airport terminal, we were met by our Tour Operator. We were bused straight to the hotel. Most of us went for a walk in the local areas near the hotel. Our buffet dinner consisted of various chicken curries, rice and assorted breads. There was little for me to eat. I ate vegetables and asked for some plain chicken.

    I should have been over-joyed at being back in India. However, the Covid-19 virus was close by, in China. If it crossed the border to India, anyone of us could be infected by chance.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

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   The first day of our exotic overland cultural and artistic trip was a local tour in Delhi. The next day we also toured in Delhi, and then Jaipur. I had previously visited these destinations and found the updates stimulating. The next day, when we travelled to brilliant Pushkar, the cultural differences were unique, as was the excitement of where to sit, as we grew tired from the heat of the day.

    We found a very Covid-19 unfriendly place, which was the best in the local environment. As a group we tried Kurdish coffee, followed by an indifferent lunch, as gluten and lactose-free as possible. Of course, I had much to say about my cuisine to our waiter. His English was fragmentary, so I failed in getting too far with it. I had to accept the unimaginative cuisine. Amazingly enough, I did not suffer from this unhealthy decision.

    A couple of hours later we had the most angelic Chai Latte, which we were asked to try. My eyes popped out of my head with anxiety, as I watched the young man cooking my Chai on a crappy old gas stove, in a crappy old pot, with unknown spices. I guessed it would be sterilised! It tasted incredible. Wow, miraculously taste driven!

    We visited religious installations, churches, mosques and historic buildings, and admired the colourful people. The personalities of the locals stunned me! How gorgeous, unique and vulnerable they seemed. An occasional local asked permission to take my photo. I felt honoured and waivered my privacy. Why me? They said they liked my eyes and personality, I guess that was a good enough reason. I felt slightly flattered.

   As we were travelling by bus, it was easy to move around. Next came a trip from Jaipur to Agra, where we rose before dawn to see the Taj Mahal. A romantic moment for which my American connection had set the scene in my mind. I wished he could have been present. I had visited the Taj previously. Somehow this time the experience was more serene, with the soft misty environment, the rising sun exquisitely with us, the crisp air, and all our companions energised and excited. This famous site holds a sad and romantic love history, and because I love romance and history, I was again overcome by this marvellous monument.

   We had stood in a long queue for hours, then there were rumours that we would not get in. This only added to the spice of the day. I really thought that, if this tour was meant to be, it would happen. I had been there before, others had not. Angst within the group mounted, everyone wanted to enter. Elderly people were tired already, and the time was only 6 am. We were given bottled water, we stood in the cold, with rumours of Covid-19 running through the queue.